By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
her facebook's as public as her vagina
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
