singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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