No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Randomize
