Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
