I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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