I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He better not be in your backpack
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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