So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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