Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
