i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
