never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize