I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
