Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
