She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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