I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
