how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize