I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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