hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Church boner. Awkwardddd
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
