Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
