I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
