It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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