get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
