she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I just forgot I was standing up.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
