I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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