If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
