Moan for me like Helen Keller
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
