Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
