This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
