I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
