ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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