All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
