remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
