Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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