I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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