Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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