I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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