So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
