I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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