you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
