Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
