i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
