I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
