so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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