It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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