WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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