I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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