I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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