Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
