Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm sobbing to NWA
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
