I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
