I hate your face
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
