was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
