i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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