I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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