carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
