She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
