When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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