dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
