in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
is it fun? or sober?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
