I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
