Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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