I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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