Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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